I raised my daughters to be kind, humble and FOCUSED. Often labeled as the ‘nerdy unadventurous-homebody parents’, we assured our teenaged girls that there will come a time when they will work hard and party harder. We promised a few spirited solo trips and also gave a tacit sanction for weekend outings.
Waiting for the best to come, they grew into grown-up adults with shining armours. It was time to execute all the commitments that already had prior approvals. Excitedly the five year plans were made which included a trip abroad, a treks every month and every weekend chill-outs with friends. I was happily subscribing it all monetarily and emotionally because I felt they deserved all this fun and freedom.
Come 2020, everything fell apart and the red scare gripped us all. Without any time lapse the youngsters were pushed indoors and this time to become a stay-at-home- grown-up adults. The indefinite lockdowns, the long hours on screen, the lonely nights in the house with no-friend, no-party and no-outings depressed them to unhealthy limits. Worse was the uncertainty of it all ending.
Fast forward to 2021, things were slowly getting back to normal. The girls started reworking their plans only to be stalled once again by the virus which was deadlier than before. My grown-up adults were upset, angry, sad and terribly scared of losing their dear ones. They had stopped talking about sports, friends, movies or fast food. The ever-scrolling friend ‘Instagram and Pinterest' used for fashion and bollywood updates was changed to broadcast emergency calls , oxygen, injections and vaccinations. I saw them working all night on screen and then heard them crying and consoling their friends for losing their dear ones .
Seeing all this, I deeply regret and feel responsible for snatching away their good years. I wished I could rewind it all and allowed them to play more, trek more and party more. I dread to think that these young (s)heroes of my life will carry these dark years as an indelible memory forever.
We as parents had no choice to accept the unacceptable. To assuage the pent up emotions, we tried hard to become the ‘playful-positive-cool parents’ of the new normal. We adopted some unconventional and unpredictable behaviours like:
A Let-Go Attitude : Together we had to accept that it is a slow down time of our life and in this period my grown up adults will feel claustrophobic, irritable, frustrated and snappy. I allowed them to ventilate and LET GO.
Approvals to Excesses: The excesses like the endless screen time, loud music , frequent Swiggy / Zomato visits, Amazon impulse shopping, Netflix hours and long phone calls was accepted as the new normal of the house.
Permission for being Nocturnals: Their daily cycles had reversed. Our waking hours were their sleeping hours. In the name of intermittent fasting breakfast became lunch and lunch was dinner but we have to say its okay.
Less is More : Time spent with them was restricted only to few hours because right now they were angry with themselves and so were we. Too much of interaction may lead to discussions changing into arguments and into unpleasant scenes.
Be Role Models: I had read somewhere don't teach or preach just let them see you doing it and they will follow if they find value. Therefore, I practiced some calming techniques, exercise and meditation to set a precedence. They followed me .
My sole goal was not to make perfect kids instead help our kids to accept the imperfect. Together we counted their blessings, we have yet another day to live together.
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